Horse’s Mouth
At Town Crier, we occasionally get letters from readers seeking advice on all manner of personal situations. They could be questions of etiquette, social faux-pas or family matters. We are always happy to help and so we have enlisted the help of a local stalwart who in her own words has seen it all and calls a spade a gardener. Lady Ophelia d’Knight, (Offa to her friends, but we’re allowed to call her lady d’Knight), will be happy to answer any of your queries in future issues.
Dear Lady d’Knight
I need to ask your opinion on hugging. It seems everywhere you look these days, youngsters are hugging each other particularly girls, even if they’ve only seen each other half an hour before. It also seems more common place amongst middle aged couples; where before a swift pack on the cheek would have sufficed, it’s being followed up by a hug. I’m not averse to this, don’t get me wrong, in fact I would like to think I have more of a European outlook and consider myself quite tactile. But, and here’s my dilemma, my friend’s husband seems reluctant to release the hug after what I would normally consider an acceptable time of maybe a second or two. I’m not sure whether to read something into this or if it’s quite normal now?
FB
Dear FB
Yes, you’re right, the amount of body contact these days is quite astonishing. Even men are not averse to hugging as long as it’s accompanied by a couple of back slaps hard enough to leave a mark. Although a hug, or invasion of personal space as I like to call it, is acceptable these days, there are still rules. All hugs between friends should only involve contact from the waist up. Without wanting to sound like a Mills and Boon author, if you can feel his ‘ardour’, the friendly hug has turned into a clinch. Equally anything over 3 seconds long is questionable; I’ve had relationships lasting less time than this. This is true especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Try proffering your hand accompanied by a one armed hug. This means that you’ve got one arm in between you which you can then use to push him away. If this doesn’t work, step into the hug and onto his toes giving a perfect excuse to pull back. If you do this every time you meet, he’ll get the message.
Lady d’Knight
Dear Lady d’Knight
Now that we have finally seen some sun, I’m keen to have a little barbecue action. I’d like to invite our new neighbours as well as some old friends but do you think it would be ok to wear my topless lady apron with people I don’t know too well?
BC
Dear BC
Don’t make an exhibition of the cooking. Comedy aprons, chef’s hats and swaggering machismo as the meat hits the grill are obtrusive and self-centred. Your guests have come to eat and socialise, and should not feel coerced into applauding a one-man show.
Lady Offa d’Knight
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